12 Habits You Need in 2016 (PART 4)

2016 is almost near! The big question is..... Are you ready? I strongly believe that the future belongs to those who prepare for it today. So I'm sharing the habits that helped me achieve the BEST results so you can use the same to have a GREAT 2016. 

So far I've shared these eight habits: 

  1. Discover the Gifts in You

  2. Overcome Your Fears

  3. Use What You Already Have

  4. Love and Spend Time with Family

  5. Reconnect with Lifetime Friends from the Past

  6. Develop and Define Solid Relationships

  7. Do Something You've Never Done Before

  8. Invest in You and in Others

 Now moving right along.....

9. Power In Saying No - Saying no has become my new best friend! Why? Because you can't say yes to everything and if you do, you will find yourself broke, tired, and wondering why you do so much, but there's barely any return on your time invested. We say yes because saying yes is much easier than saying no. As women, we like to people please plus at times there is underlying expectation that if I say yes to this then it will return a yes back. But this is not always true. My old boss told me, "Your wrong yes's are causing you to deliver 50% when you should say NO and deliver 100% to the right yes." I needed to hear this and it changed my life and helped me to no longer fear saying NO! A few ways to help you give an assertive no: 

  1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.

  2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the "No." Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person's eyes as you say, "No." Shake your head "No," as you say, "No."

  3. Remember that "No," is an honorable response. If you decide that "No," is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, "No."

  4. If you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No," you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, "No" when you need to.

  5. If you are saying, "No," to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to help her move, you might say, "No, Tara, I can't today. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won't be able to help you.

  6. Start your sentence with the word, "No." It's easier to keep the commitment to say, "No," if it's the first word out of your mouth.

10. Take Time to Heal - Saying yes to the wrong things caused some hurt and pain so this year I had to go through some MAJOR healing. Don't place bandaids over wounds without first properly cleaning it. Otherwise you miss a vital part of the healing process. It may sting and burn, but trust me when I say it is needed. We are all going to face difficult situations with people whether we like it or not. The problem is how we deal with it.

  1. The first step I took was talking to God before going to anyone or the person who caused the hurt. Give God time to bring peace, healing, forgiveness and restoration. The last thing you want to do is react from an overly emotional place which could cause more damage.

  2. The second step I took was CONFRONTATION. Some people tend to think confrontation is bad, but confrontation is actually good when it comes from the right place. Don't run or avoid hurt and pain. Embrace it. Confrontation or conflict resolution for me is a date over coffee and tea with some good laughs. Be ready to share why you felt hurt and ready to receive and listen to your cause in the hurt.

  3. The last step in the process is to continue to forgive and assess how you move forward. Forgiveness is a process in itself and it takes time just as healing takes time. This is not an overnight process so please TAKE TIME! I don't believe in cutting off everyone who hurts you or offends you. Ask yourself does the person produce good fruit in your life and let that be the determining factor on if you move forward with or without them. Just remember, sometimes those you love will bring hurt and pain. God took Jesus through much pain and suffering but it was for a greater cause with a great reward......

11. Make No Excuses and Take Responsibility - I'm sure since we are entering a New Year, you've already set many goals like losing weight, saving money and launching new things. Whatever you do, DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES for not doing something you said you were going to do. I'm not talking about things you do for people. It's all about what you plan to do for yourself to become a BETTER YOU! You deserve to be the BEST YOU and the world needs the BEST YOU! You owe it to yourself to complete what you've committed to doing for yourself. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds then make no excuses for eating sweets everyday. Take responsibility and tell your friends who keep offering social hangouts that involve eating out to meet you at your home or a location with not as many temptations. Trust me, it was hard to say NO to hangouts, but it's saved me money and pounds. 

FINALLY..............

12. Prayer a Habit - Of all the habits I've shared, if you can't do all of them at least make this one your #1 PRIORITY! My life stands on this verse, "And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength" - Deuteronomy 6:5. My best days this year were the days I surrendered to him and spent at least an hour with him before starting my day. There is plenty of scripture that backs up why prayer should part of our everyday lives. Here are my reminders to help me stay prayed up: 

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. - 1 John 5:14

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. - Romans 12:12

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ - Jeremiah 33:3

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. - Matthew 6:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. - James 5:16

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. - Hebrews 4:16

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. - Mark 11:24

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. - Colossians 4:2

I'm excited for all of you and I HOPE, PRAY and BELIEVE that you will have a GREAT 2016!!!! Just remember these 12 Habits You Need in 2016:

  1. Discover the Gifts in You

  2. Overcome Your Fears

  3. Use What You Already Have

  4. Love and Spend Time with Family

  5. Reconnect with Lifetime Friends from the Past

  6. Develop and Define Solid Relationships

  7. Do Something You've Never Done Before

  8. Invest in You and in Others

  9. Power in Saying No

  10. Take Time to Heal

  11. Make No Excuses and Take Responsibility

  12. Prayer a Habit

Love always, 

Jess

P.S. - One of my personal goals is to keep sharing so I promise in 2016 to faithfully share what the Lord has shared with me. I love you loads.